..is to take 100% responsibility and ownership of the fact that you got yourself in that hole
Sorry. It’s a bitter pill to swallow but it is the cure to what ails you.
It is SO EASY to blame others, or circumstance, for everything that happens to you. But where does that actually get you? Right at the bottom of that hole you are in!
The only person who can get you out is you. “No” I hear you say. I will “win the lottery” or “meet the (wo)man of my dreams” or “get that promotion”. Is that so? And what then?
Is the person you are right now going to be able to keep that money/job/partner if you take no responsibility for your life? Hell no! Why do you think people who win the lottery end up worse off five years later than they were before they won? Because they didn’t grow up.
It is ALL YOUR FAULT. And that’s OK. Everything that isn’t right in my life is all my fault, too. The difference is that I have acknowledged that and can now look back and see where I went wrong and start to create new habits, change my patterns and generally do things differently so that THINGS CHANGE!
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. So take the bull by the horns, the horse by the reins (or whatever other metaphor works for you right now) and decide that you are going to take control of YOU! Then start doing things differently because there’s a ladder out of that whole you are in and SOMEBODY needs to start climbing it!