Day 1 of my challenge and one of the truest things I have learned.
In today’s world we are constantly bombarded with information and noise from 100 different directions. Phones, iPads, computers, bosses, partners, kids, waiters, whatever! It’s endless!
Add to that our ever-growing list of concerns of how we “should” be and the VERY mixed messages around that, such as “be yourself”, “be thin”, “be happy”, “keep some energy to yourself”,”give 100%”,”be strong”, “be vulnerable” and we have less and less attention to spare. As such, we are constantly (half-)focussed on the past, the future and our distracting surroundings. So how does that impact our relationships?
Think about it. At some level we all want to be appreciated and understood and yet we often have a sense of “nobody cares” or “no one understands me” so what’s the problem?
…or a lack thereof.
When is the last time you just sat in silence with yourself and asked yourself how you feel and were HONEST with yourself. That would be a start…
If, however, being with yourself is a bit too tricky at the moment (tricky=gut wrenchingly terrifying) then try this. Next time you are in a conversation with someone who is important to you be present with them. By this, I mean ignore your phone, look away from the TV or computer, stop thinking about all of your own worries and fears and just focus on that one moment and that one conversation. Really listen to that person and do your best to understand their point of view. Be prepared to let your own perspective change.
This is true communication and it really is transformational.
There would be a percentage – and not a small one – of coaching clients who are happy to pay the coaching fees just because for that one hour they can just talk and be heard without judgement.
Think about how you felt the last time someone really listened to you.. can you even remember it? Well, my advice is this, you start first and see what happens.
When you really start listening people really start to talk and what you hear sometimes will astound you.